I’m pretty sure that this same stranger, who kissed this reporter, out of the blue, while she was doing her job would have objected, mightily, to her walking into his workplace, and kissing him, in full view of his co-workers and employer.

He might have had to concern himself with what rumors might have gotten back to his wife or girlfriend if she had walked up to him and kissed him at work or in a public place, and I KNOW that he would have been even more offended and even aggrieved if she had “grabbed him by the pussy” or in this case “the balls”.

If it’s not okay for a woman to do these kinds of things to a man, then how is it okay for a man to do it to a woman?

It’s okay, because it’s a very chauvinistic world we live in and here’s just one more example, before we move on to how we’ve all been brainwashed into this way of thinking:

The rotten little acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree……….

For decades we have been using expressions like “Big boys don’t cry”, “Boys will be boys”, and “Little girls need to lady-like”.

All these expressions and their like are born of the mindset of toxic masculinity. It’s a weaponized system of emotional manipulation that preaches that we all have to bottle up our emotions and play by a particular rule book that narrowly defines gender roles.

This rule book that delineates gender roles was written during a less than educated era that didn’t take into account that there will be times when a Dad has to play Mr. Mom, because Mom can make a better income than Dad. It also didn’t take into account what we’re all finally learning about the true number of gender identities, but that’s a topic for a post of its own.

Women are still having to accept the ungentlemanly behavior that is the consequence of having had their roles (and men’s) so narrowly defined for them BY MEN.

Men wrote a bible, in which they nearly deified their image of the ideal woman. No real woman could ever live up to that image. It is the image of a woman who had no say (and didn’t choose to even try to speak up for herself) in her own impregnation.

The god of that bible didn’t ask Mary if she wanted to carry his son. Men and (consequently) their “God” simply assumed that Mary would be only too honored to do the job of carrying and raising this child that would soon leave her to be a healer and savior, and eventually the sole bearer of the world’s sins, as he died on the crucifix.

She went through pregnancy, without a complaint, bore her baby in a manger, and suffered through strange visitors coming to call, to bestow gifts not on her, but on her child, on the night he was born. She had to be exhausted from the labor and delivery. She was probably also a bit discomfited at having been turned away from taverns and other places of accommodation when she had been so close to delivering.

Now the state of Ohio has seemingly regressed to “biblical” days, when it was okay to impregnate women, and even young girls, against their will, and then prevent them from aborting the baby.

What is it that has men so SCARED of grown women that they have to force themselves on helpless little girls and then make laws to further disempower those little girls?!

These frightened little men justify their actions, again and again, by referring us to the bible. They say that since their biblical heroes did it, it is natural and acceptable for men to do it in this day and age.

Way back in January, presidential hopeful Santorum said that pregnancy through rape is a gift from God. “I believe and I think that the right approach is to accept this horribly created, in the sense of rape, but nevertheless, in a very broken way, a gift of human life, and accept what God is giving to you.” -

As much as men believe that they are entitled to get away with this reprehensibly childish and brutish behavior, women are finally learning that we don’t have to tolerate it. That has men terrified and they’ve upped the anti in terms of becoming ever more outlandish in their low born behavior toward women. They have begun to force themselves, with progressively greater frequency, on minors.

Young girls are easy targets. They’re much less likely than women to say “no”. They’re much more likely to accept what an older man tells them is normal and right, and if not that, then to believe that he is fully capable and even desirous of carrying out horrible threats against her and her family, (ref. especially ICE agents) if she doesn’t respond “appropriately” to his advances, as a “lady like” young lady should.

Young girls don’t always have the experience behind them that tells them that Mommy will believe them when they tell on Uncle Steve or their teacher for an unwelcome touch, and maybe that teacher or Uncle Steve told them that Mommy would believe another grown-up before she’d believe her own child.

Stage 6: Maintaining control

Once the sex abuse is occurring, offenders commonly use secrecy and blame to maintain the child’s continued participation and silence — particularly because the sexual activity may cause the child to withdraw from the relationship.

Children in these entangled relationships — and at this point they are entangled — confront threats to blame them, to end the relationship and to end the emotional and material needs they associate with the relationship, whether it be the dirt bikes the child gets to ride, the coaching one receives, special outings or other gifts. The child may feel that the loss of the relationship and the consequences of exposing it will humiliate and render them even more unwanted.

Read more:

If it sounds like I’m calling men who would rape minors “COWARDS”, it’s because I am.

If you would rape ANYONE, you’re a COWARD. You obviously believe that you have no traits that would make a woman WANT to have sex with you, and if you would consider forcing yourself on another person, in any way, …………….YOU’RE RIGHT.

Forcing yourself or your opinion on anyone makes you completely unattractive in the eyes of the rest of the world.

That kind of behavior is that of a school yard bully. The sad thing for you school yard bullies, is that there is always a bigger bully waiting to hand out some poetic justice to you, whether you find it in a jail cell, or on a street corner or a back alley.

Another thing that you bullies might want to consider, is that a lot of women, these days carry mace, or other defensive weapons, and or know how to use martial arts to defend themselves.

If you’re considering blaming women (again) for our defensiveness, THINK AGAIN. The people that you should be blaming are the selfish men who ruin dating or even just a simple verbal exchange for the rest of you. If you’re not among the ranks of the bullies. Consider this:

  • When our date opens a car door for us, as we get in, we have to wonder if you’re just hoping to drive us off to a private spot where you can rape us.
  • We girls are taught from a young age to carry our keys locked between our fingers so that we can jab out the eyes of a would be attacker.
  • We’re cautioned, as soon as we can drive, to always watch the rear view mirror, in case a stranger is following us home, and if we’re being followed, we’re supposed to drive to a police station, or into a fire station, or somewhere else where we can easily get a lot of attention.
  • We’re the target market for an endless supply of small defensive gear, including mace and brass knuckle like devices, and necklaces that emit shrill whistles when we press a button to scare off an attacker and attract attention.

I learned these and a host of other self defense tactics when I was in middle school. I’m pretty sure that the guys in the class were outside doing something else at the time.

There are companies that rent out guard dogs to jog with women who are afraid to jog alone. I constantly come across articles for women who travel alone, that tell me how to protect myself in and out of my hotel room. If I were a guy, I probably wouldn’t be half as interested in those articles, or as likely to rent a dog for a jog, if I were on my own.

Maybe if predatory men were the exception to the rule, rather than the norm, and maybe if there was a semblance of legal justice, for rape, we gals wouldn’t have to be so assertive, in the workplace, as to become the target of your name calling. Maybe we could let our guard down, in public places, and in the workplace.

Maybe the workplace would become more productive, if women didn’t have to focus on not being too sexy or not sexy enough for their coworkers and employers. Maybe then, they could actually focus on……..oh I don’t know…….WORK!!

Students need to be able to focus on their work, too, and if teachers and staff would simply teach them to stay focused on work, rather than allowing themselves to be distracted, those students would be a lot more ready for the work world, later, because there are ALWAYS going to be distractions in the real world, and there are ALWAYS going to be beautiful things around us, that we are not entitled to touch- like art on the walls of a museum.

We spend far too much time sexualizing children’s bodies, at school and it has probably gotten us to where we are now, in this “Mans’ world” which is a morass of rape culture ruled over by Evangelical zealots for tRump.

You’re welcome.

Activist, Author, Secular Humanist, National of California, Wife, Mom, Daughter