You know that sadness that takes over your whole body and makes your back ache and your throat sore? You know that sadness that makes you want to curl up under your bed covers and ugly cry for the rest of time?

Take all that sadness, ball it up and give it a name.

For me, at one time, it was Daisy Biskind. At another time, it was Sarah Shaw and at another it was Neilda Sussman.

But let me tell you what my grandmother, Daisy, said. She said, “If you can only remember me with tears, then don’t remember me.”