The Lie of Homophobia

Sue Hirsch
3 min readJan 5, 2022

A phobia is an unreasoning fear of something. Some people have a phobia of heights, (like me) or a phobia of cramped spaces or snakes (also like me). I understand phobias and that they can cause a paralyzing fear.

On the other hand…I call BS on the idea of “homophobia”. Here’s why:

If you were to look at a crowd of 10 or more people of any age, just standing in place, there would be no way to tell if any of them were alter/fluid gendered, unless they were dressed in such a way as to advertise that difference. Even then, you can’t always judge by what people are wearing. Some folks simply like to cross dress, and some folks don’t know, themselves, if they’re alter/fluid gendered until later in life.

So when I see a headline like THIS ONE that mentions “homophobia”, I get a bit riled up, and want to slap sense into the author and challenge them to call an ace an ace.



If 10 or 20 or 100 people each handed you a dollar bill, each of those dollars would get you the same pack of M&Ms. If you sat in a public bathroom stall for an hour, and were minding your own business, and the people who filed in and out while you were there were minding their business, you would have no reason to care if they stood or sat to use the toilet next to you as long as they were neat about it.

I can guarantee that they make use of all the same public areas that you do. They go to the malls and parks and public swimming pools. They go to the movies and restaurants, beauty salons and so on. They’ve been within arms reach of you, in those places all your life, and have never made you or your kids gay.

All this is to say that you can’t always tell who’s who, and even when you can, there’s no reason for you to publicly judge, comment, or to tell them how to live. Things won’t end well for you, if you try.

The person that you’re judging is under no obligation to edify you and you’ll simply look like an a$$ to everyone else in hearing/sight of your display of arrogance and ignorance.

On top of the FALLACY that is the concept of “homophobia”, there is also the long history of the NORMALCY of gender fluidity and the fact that it was embraced because people who were gender fluid were as useful to their people as their cis/straight fellows.