The Piano’s Been Drinking

Sue Hirsch
4 min readJul 28, 2021

I wish I had a dime for every time I’ve heard bad behavior blamed on booze.

I’ve got news for you:

The booze didn’t do it.

If you were drunk when you groped a girl at the amusement park, like THIS GUY, or when you raped a young woman, like Kavanaugh did,

or wrapped your car around a tree or committed drunken manslaughter with your vehicle then it’s not the booze that’s the problem.

You see, a bottle of booze can’t drive a car or rape a woman and no one held a gun to your head to make you drink.

More to the point:

NO ONE CARES WHAT MADE YOU RAPE OR KILL.

All your victim’s family knows is: You’ve murdered or raped their loved one, and their lives will never be the same.

If you’re lucky, the families of your victims (because there will always be more than one) will feel compelled to forgive you, citing a “good Christian upbringing”.

The question is, will you be able to forgive YOURSELF? A better question is:

If you CAN forgive yourself, then what kind of person are you?!

Here’s the catch. If you drink until you’re drunk, then there’s no way that I can respect you, and I’ll tend to ignore you until you make yourself my problem.

I think that most people try to not see you when you’re embarrassing yourself because you’re drunk and for that:

WE SHOULD BE GETTING CHARGED AS ACCESSORIES TO YOUR CRIMES!

Drunkenness is pretty obvious to us casual observers, and we tend to pretend that it’s not so that we don’t have to get involved or interact with those of you who over- indulge. We don’t want you taking a swing at us or puking on our shoes. Uber/Lyft/taxi drivers don’t want to have to be the one to drive you home because they don’t want you puking in their cars. Your family probably suffers too and you know it.

The money you spend on drinking they could be spending on needed meds, food, shoes and clothes, education, etc. The TIME that you wasted at the pub (not to mention the time you had to spend sleeping it off) was yet more

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